I been Norman Maliered, Maxwell Taylored, I been John O'Hara'd McNamara'd, I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled 'till I'm blind, I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded communist, 'Cause I'm left-handed, That's the hand I use, Well, never mind!
I been Phil Spectored, resurrected, I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered, Well, I paid all the dues that I want to pay, And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce, And all my wealth won't buy me health, So I smoke a pint of tea a day.
I knew a man, his brain so small, He couldn't think of nothin' at all, He's not the same as you or me, He doesn't dig poetry, He's so unhip that when you say Dylan, He thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas, Whoever he was.
THe man ain't got no culture, But it's alright ma, Everybody must get stoned.
I been Mick Jaggered, sliver daggered, Andy Warhol, won't you please come home? I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled, Been Roy Haleed and Art Garfunkeled, I just discovered, Somebody's tapping my phone.
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