[D]Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant Who was very rarely [A]stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could drink you under the [D]table David Hume could out-consume Whilhelm Friedrich [G]Hegel And [A]Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as sloshed as [D]Schlagel There's nothin' [A]Nature didn't teach yer 'Bout the raisin' of the wrist Socrates him[D]self was [B7]permanently [E7]pissed
John Stuart Mill of his own free will On a bottle o' shanty became particularly ill Plato they say, could put it away Half a pint of whiskey every day Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart `I drink therefore I am'
But Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed
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